When Dana Rosser met her future husband, laparoscopic surgeon Dr. James “Butch” Rosser, he weighed 460 pounds. After they married in 1995, she struggled with the challenges of supporting a loved one with obesity, which she chronicled in her book, “Thru Thick & Thin.” The couple’s story is now the subject of the documentary, “More Than What We See.” Rosser, 59, who lives in Orlando, Florida, shared how one partner’s weight affects their spouse in an interview with TODAY.
When I met Butch, I saw his weight, of course. How could you not? But I looked at so many other things — his intelligence and his smile. We had the same Christian values and we laughed a lot. So I looked at his character and that’s what I fell in love with.
People called me a gold digger because in their mind, there’s no way someone could find a 460-pound man attractive. He’s a world-renowned surgeon so people thought I was with him because of the fame and fortune. That really hurt my feelings.
I was concerned for his health. He couldn’t walk really long distances — he would sweat and his knees would hurt. He couldn’t play outside with our girls when they were little. He dealt with sleep apnea — at night, he snored very loudly and would stop breathing. I had a fear of him dying in his sleep, so I would nudge him to make sure he was OK. I couldn’t really get a good night’s rest because I was always checking to make sure he was alive.
When the phone rang, I’d get really nervous because I would think somebody is calling me to tell me he had a heart attack or stroke. I lived with a constant gnawing fear in the back of my head that something was going to happen to him. It caused me great angst and anxiety.
I was in love with him, but I just didn’t know what to do with all these different feelings, like embarrassment and anger.
One time we were all getting on a plane and Butch sat down, broke the seat and ended…
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