Editor’s note: The following article is an op-ed, and the views expressed are the author’s own. Read more opinions on theGrio.
The Golden State Warriors are rumored to be mulling a blockbuster trade involving beleaguered NBA bruiser Draymond Green.
According to multiple sources that do not exist, including two barbers at Cutz N Stylez barbershop and a guy whose cousin kicks it with some people who work “high up” in the Golden State Warriors organization, a collective representing law enforcement officers across America have informally offered a first-round pick for the four-time All-Star power forward.
The offer comes after Green was suspended indefinitely for a backhand punch to Phoenix Sun center Jusuf Nurkic’s head during a game on Tuesday. A spokesman for True Heroes Enforcing Brutality and Dismissing Concerns Over Public Safety (THEBADCOPS), the law enforcement organization rumored to have offered the trade, would not confirm the reports, only saying that THEBADCOPS are always looking to add talent to their roster.
“As an organization, our scouts are continually searching for talented individuals — especially those who show a gift for violence and physical abuse,” said Jack Cupp, a spokesperson for THEBADCOPS. “So it goes without saying that we’ve had our eye on Draymond for years. When we saw the video of him punching his own teammate for insulting him, our coaches said: “We could use someone like that to enforce our culture of silence.”
While THEBADCOPS insisted that we wait until all the evidence comes out, sources inside the organization said they are excited at the possibility of having someone on their team who has shown such dedication to protecting and serving his own interests. “It’s rare to see someone execute such high-level pimp slapping without being trained at a police academy,” said one insider who spoke on the condition that he turn off his bodycam. “Can you imagine how much…
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