Editor’s note: The following article is an op-ed, and the views expressed are the author’s own. Read more opinions on theGrio.
It has come to my attention that many of you have to interact with white people on a regular basis. You have so many interactions with white people at your job or in your social network or maybe even in your family that now you have to get some of these white people a holiday gift. And some of you are freaking out. Yes, I know, it pains you and me both very deeply to buy gifts for white people when those very same wypipo owe us A LOT of money in reparations. But I’m putting that aside for now because many of you have asked me, “What do I get the whites in my life?” (Many people asked the question and did not use the word “whites.”) I am here with some ideas.
1. The Super Soul Pack of seasonings from Soul Fit Grill. We know white people don’t season their food. Give ’em this pack of seven seasonings, and they’ll have a variety of spices from a Black-owned company right at their little white fingertips. There are a lot of Black-owned seasoning companies that you could try. If you spice up their little white lives, every time they eat, they’ll thank you.
2. Tickets to see the awesome “Renaissance: A Film by Beyoncé” because they, too, need to see the brilliance, determination, beauty and ferocity of our queen.
3. An invitation to the cookout. I don’t mean that in the way that you think. I hear the way Black folk say, “Ooh, that white boy does whatever really good so he’s got an invitation to the cookout.” That ish is so corny, y’all. No white person deserves an invitation to the cookout. Not even if they’re your spouse. It’s supposed to be the Blackity Blackest event ever. It’s where we all come together as a family. No white person could ever do anything to deserve an invitation to that.
I’m saying you should give them an actual written invitation to “the…
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