“Notes on faith” is theGrio’s inspirational, interdenominational series featuring Black thought leaders across faiths.
Come when my heart is full of grief
Or when my heart is merry;
Come with the falling of the leaf
Or with the redd’ning cherry.
Come when the year’s first blossom blows,
Come when the summer gleams and glows,
Come with the winter’s drifting snows,
And you are welcome, welcome.
— Excerpted from “Invitation to Love” by Paul Laurence Dunbar
This week, many around the world will celebrate love on Valentine’s Day. Rooted in religious traditions and folklore, what is now most commonly accentuated in the holiday may be the gestures — the flowers, cards, candy, sonnets, and serenades. But when we consider the notion of an ever-enduring love, be it romantic, platonic, or familial, those demonstrations can distract us or even distort our expectations of what love really means, and how it most often shows up in non-celebratory ways.
Whether you are a fan of Mo’Nique or find her personality or approach to “truth-telling” to be “difficult,” what she conveyed about her husband’s expressions of love during her headline-making appearance on Shannon Sharpe’s “Club Shay Shay” was worth considering as we approach this Valentine’s Day week.
“When I was at my lowest, he loved me like I was at my best,” was among the many quotables Mo’Nique used to describe her 18-year marriage to Sydney Hicks, a man for whom she had a litany of descriptors: manager, confidante, and (we will suspend judgment here) “Daddy” among them. Again, suspending any ideas or criticisms of the couple’s marriage, which they have confirmed is non-monogamous, and instead taking what she shared at face value: Is this not what each of us should desire in a relationship — someone who we can invite into our sincerest attempts to do and be better? Don’t we dream of someone who encourages…
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