If you’re anything like me, you were very single this Valentine’s Day. Now before you pout your lips and release that subconscious “awwww…” currently on the tip of your tongue, hear this: I’m OK. I, like many other singles, did not wallow in self-pity yesterday. If anything, I was basking in self-love and love from friends and family.
Research has shown that almost 40% of adults in the U.S. are single, with nearly half being uninterested in dating — and who can blame them? Between the popularization of “toxic love” and the prejudice Black daters experience on dating apps, it’s safe to say dating in 2023 is not for the faint of heart.
That being said, the narrative around singlehood has undoubtedly changed over the years, coincidentally, as marriage rates have declined. Nowadays, being single does not automatically categorize a person as a “depressed cat lady” or as hyper-independent as Gabrielle Union’s character in the 2003 film “Deliver Us from Eva” (IYKYK).
“We’ve been going along with society’s story about single people, and there have been structural incentives to kind of make single people the punching bag,” said Geoff MacDonald, a psychology professor at the University of Toronto who specializes in relationship research, to TIME magazine.
While there is no denying the joy of being in a healthy, committed relationship, that status does not inherently take away from the joy single people experience. Many authors have explored the beauty of singlehood, like Elyakim Kislev, who wrote “Happy Singlehood” and “What a Time to Be Alone: The Slumflower’s Guide to Why You Are Already Enough” by Chidera Eggerue. Kislev describes singles as individuals who “cherish freedom, independence, and even creativity and nonconformity more than others.”
Like the famous saying, “you can’t love others until you love yourself,” research shows…
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