Sexual wellbeing is an important part of our overall health. Sex, for couples, can help foster a sense of intimacy between partners and support a healthy relationship.
However, maintaining a strong sexual connection after years or decades together can be a challenge. Just as relationships change over time, so does sex.
What is the secret to a healthy, happy sex life in a long-term couple? Every individual and relationship is different, but there are some common behaviors and characteristics among people who sustain a lasting sexual relationships, according to Emily Nagoski, Ph.D., sex educator and author of “Come Together: The Science (and Art!) of Creating Lasting Sexual Connections,” out on Jan. 30.
How often do couples have sex?
A trap many couples fall into is believing that having sex at a certain frequency is what makes their sex life healthy, says Nagoski, and having less than this amount is a problem.
“The question I am asked a lot is how frequently does the typical couple have sex,” says Nagoski. There’s no right answer, she adds, because it varies for every couple. It’s also normal for frequency to ebb and flow during different periods of our life.
Trying to maintain an “ideal” frequency, regardless of whether you want or like the sex you’re having, is “an excellent way to make your sex life worse,” says Nagoski, who emphasizes quality and pleasure over quantity.
Previous research, which Nagoski was not involved, has found that couples who have sex about once a week have greater satisfaction than couples that have sex less frequently — but couples who have more frequent sex than once a week do not tend to report being any happier.
Habits of couples with great sex lives
Nagoski shares five habits of partners with a healthy sex life and how any couple can adopt these to enhance their sexual connection.
Talking about sex, a lot
“The No. 1 thing is communication. The research tells us that the couples who sustain a strong sexual connection…
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